Abating Fear

Fear has shaped my life since childhood.  I have vivid memories of my grandmother holding my hand tightly when strangers passed on the sidewalk, and even recall a great grandmother hiding in a closet during a thunderstorm.  I remember having a difficult time sleeping in my own room and being home alone at night, even as teenager.  Once I turned forty, I became more aware of how my fears and anxiety were taking a toll on my life, and I began to take steps to manage these emotions.  Despite continued struggles with anxiety, today I practice healthier ways to cope with this everyday companion.  In the past, my main source of coping involved extensive strategies to protect my family and myself from harm.  I created elaborate backup plans for everything I imagined might happen.  This was not only time consuming, but also emotionally exhausting.  Today I know that what helps me most is simply to observe the fears--neither pushing them away nor holding on to them tightly. Of course I still find myself getting caught up with worries many times each day.  But the moment I recognize them as thoughts rather than reality, I am able to relax again.  I gain confidence in my ability to handle life's challenges.  This makes it easier for me to let go of the drive to protect and plan for adversity.

My own personal fears about aging revolve primarily around the disease and disabilities of my family members and patients.  These particular concerns have motivated me to maintain healthy lifestyle behaviors and proactively monitor my health.  What are your greatest fears about aging?  Are any of them laughable when you really stop and evaluate them rationally?  How do you cope with your fears, anxieties, and worries?  I look forward to hearing your stories and know that our "Age Well Be Well community" will benefit from those who are willing to share.  

Focus on Self-Care to Enhance Your Health

Recently I have been contemplating why self-care is such a difficult task to embrace and am curious to hear what you think about this subject via my age-well-be-well.com blog. As I work with clients I'm discovering that often a combination of several factors hamper self-care.  These factors include expectations established by the current healthcare system, life balance issues and personal beliefs.

Our healthcare system today is dominated by the diagnosis and treatment of illness and disease. This focus has resulted in our healthcare revolving largely around our primary care providers (medical doctor, nurse practitioner or physician assistant). The resulting expectation is that this provider will tell us what is wrong and prescribe a treatment or medication to cure or treat what ails us. While this medical care is essential it often overshadows the responsibility each of us has to our own self-care.

 

In addition, self-care requires that we increase awareness about our own health needs and take steps daily to meet them. At a basic level this requires making good choices about how we use and what we put into our body and mind. Self-care requires knowledge of what to do but also a willingness to invest in self. This "self-investment" is especially difficult when our work and family commitments demand so much of our time and energy. There often doesn't seem to be any time left over to care for self.

Taking the time to care for self not only requires an investment in our time and energy but also slowing down long enough to become aware of the needs of our body, mind and spirit. So often in the past when I found myself ill, I realized in retrospect that my body had given me messages or cues about it's needs but I just didn't listen. Sometimes I was aware of those hints and choose to ignore them. Sometimes I was going so fast that I didn't even hear them. How often has this happened to you?

 

Beliefs also influence our ability to commit to self-care. Perhaps early life experiences suggested serving others was valued or focusing on self was selfish. Such experiences often create underlying and unconscious beliefs that inhibit our ability to make a commitment to self-care.

Do you have any self-care goals that roll over repeatedly into your New Year's resolution? Goals like exercising more or eating better that you seriously want to do, know how to do but never actually get around to doing.  If so, you are not alone but finding the capacity to actually accomplish these goals will likely require more than just more discipline.  Instead consider looking deeper into what beliefs might be feeding your inaction.  Explore a vision for your life based on deep values that motivate how you want to be.

My Mindful Mantra

When learning to meditate it is often useful to have something to center your attention.  Focusing on breathing is the most common technique.  But concentrating on a word/phase (a mantra) or small poems or prayers (gathas) in addition to breathing can also be very useful.  I often use mantras and gathas along with prayer beads when my mind is especially active and I’m having trouble coming back to my breathe during my meditations.  I use this strategy when my life is exceptionally busy or stressful.

I combine my favorite mantras and gatha into a string that calms and centers my mind and body.  I repeat each section three times before going on to the next mantra.  

 I honor my inner self

I bow to my true nature

May I be free of the struggle that comes from focusing on the past and the future

May I find peace in this present moment

May I live my life with compassion

God grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change

The courage to change the things I can

The wisdom to know the difference

The quiet stillness to see and feel your grace

What is your favorite mantra or gatha and how do you use it in your practice?  Please consider sharing a comment on the blog.  Your thoughts will help nurture the Age Well Be Well community.     

What is Your Favorite Vegetarian Recipe?

Eating less meat and more plant-based foods is one of the recommendations for healthy eating in the autumn edition of The Age Well.  This strategy has received so much support that I consider it a “no brainer.”  But incorporating this strategy into an average American lifestyle can be challenging.  I began making a shift in my own diet about six months ago and found having a handful of easy to make meals to be helpful in my transition.  Below are easy lunch and dinner options as well as an interesting salad.  I hope you will give them a try and also share with the Age Well Be Well community your own favorites.  In this way, we can support each other to eat well and be well!

Mexican Magic

 1 whole-wheat tortilla

½ cup refried beans

1 ounce low fat, shredded cheese

2 tablespoons salsa

Microwave tortilla with ingredients until hot and cheese melts.  Roll up and enjoy.  I like to garnish this dish with sprouts, tomatoes and sliced avocado! 

Eggplant Parmesan

1-2 eggplants

1-2 jars of your favorite pasta sauce

bread crumbs

1-2 eggs or egg beaters

sliced buffalo mozzarella cheese

grated parmesan cheese

basil

1.    Slice eggplant and then coat in eggs or egg beater mixture and bread crumbs.

2.    Bake single-layer coated slices on cookie sheet (covered in parchment paper) 10-15 minutes on each side in oven at 400 degrees.

3.    Layer cooked eggplant slices with cheeses and sauce in baking dish (make sure bottom of dish is covered with sauce).  Add additional 2-3 layers.  Finish off top with sauce, parmesan cheese and basil. 

4.    Cover with foil and cook 20-30 minutes until hot and bubbling.

Warm Mushroom Salad with Endive and Watercress

 4-8 ounces of wild mushrooms (try something besides white)

1-2 heads of endive

1 bunch of watercress

¼ cup toasted hazelnuts, pine nuts or almonds

Dressing: 

1/3 cup balsamic vinegar

1 teaspoon sugar

1 tablespoon soy sauce

1.    Cut endive in 1-2 inch pieces and toss with watercress

2.    Sauté mushrooms in small amount of olive oil and season with salt and pepper then add to greens

3.    Warm vinegar and sugar until slightly thickened then stir in soy sauce off heat

4.    Toss endive, watercress and mushrooms with dressing mixture

5.    Top with nuts



Toss A Coin In The Age Well . . . What Will You Be Doing At 70, 80, 90?

What do you want to be able to do or how do want to be when you are age 70, 80, or 90?  This is a question I have been mulling over for several years now and have spent time actually writing down my future ambitions.  It has always helped me to know where I’m going—to have dreams but also tangible goals.  I’m sure that’s why having a Wellness Roadmap is almost second nature to me.  I call these aspirations of where I want to head “waypoints” for my Wellness Roadmap.  They help me stay focused and give me direction.  I know life circumstances may require that they be revised but for now they represent a vision of who I want to be and what I want to be able to do as I age.  These waypoints influenced my 2010 goals which guide the actions plans I'm currently using on a daily basis.     

I am excited about turning 50 this May.  Maybe because it’s halfway to 100 or maybe because it represents a major milestone—my youngest child will be graduating from high school this same month and soon I will become an empty nester!  I envision my fifth decade as a time to establish an expanded identity with more time devoted to my career, special interests and my relationship with my husband.

When developing my waypoints, I try to incorporate any anticipated milestones and events.  This allows me to plan realistically.  For example, in my sixties, I hope to be helping care for both my parents and grandchildren so I plan to build more flexibility into my life during this decade.   

At seventy, I want to be strong and vital.  I expect to still be working professionally but also want to share big adventures with my grandchildren.  I want to travel with them and teach them how to boat, fish and play tennis if they are receptive.  I plan to continue taking college level classes to challenge my mind.

Slowing down a bit in my eighties would be acceptable to me but I still hope to be hiking and biking with my family.  Since my husband is very athletic and disciplined, I know that to keep him in sight I will need to be equally disciplined about my physical fitness.  My routine today at age fifty is to be exercising daily.  But I cross train and try to make smart decisions about my physical training to protect my muscles and bones in hopes that they will be pain free during my eighties.    

Finally, by my ninth decade, I hope to have acquired enough life experience to be considered wise.  I hope to share and preserve my life lessons and historical heritage in an ethical will.  Beyond this, I hope to be able to grow things—planting and maintaining a flower and vegetable garden providing beauty and nourishment to family and friends. 

What is your vision?  I’d love to have you share your thoughts on my blog.  Discovering how others envision these years is so intriguing.  It’s a great way to enrich our own plans and visions.  I can’t wait to hear from some of you!

Be well,

Paula